THE POPE MUST DIE

UK, 1991, 91 minutes, Colour.
Robbie Coltrane, Beverly D'Angelo, Herbert Lom, Alex Rocco, Paul Bartel, Annette Crosbie, Balthazar Getty, Robert Stephens.
Directed by Peter Richardson.

The Pope Must Die is a humorous speculation about what might happen if the wrong person was elected pope. (The Pope Must Die seemed a terrible title for the American audiences and so it was given the alternate title in the United States as The Pope Must Diet, appropriate for the large bulk of Robbie Coltrane!).

The film shows the Vatican infiltrated by the Mafia. Herbert Lom is the Mafia chief who is plagued by his rebellious daughter who wants to run off with the leader of a musical group. Alex Rocco and Paul Bartel are corrupt cardinals in the Vatican. Alex Rocco had appeared in The Godfather and other Mafia-type films and lends a credible sinister presence to the proceedings.

However, it is Robbie Coltrane (Cracker, Harry Potter films) who is the genial presence, a simple priest who loves working with children, who clashes with a severe mother superior (Annette Crosbie) but whose name coincides with the Mafia's candidate for the papacy, and through a computer error becomes pope. The film then shows what it might be like with a simple character who has no political agenda except charity in the seat of Peter. Needless to say, there are comic clashes with the Mafia and a parody of gangster films. Direction is by Peter Richardson, a member of the sometimes anarchic British comedy group, The Young Ones.

1.Comedy, spoof, blend of the serious and the comic? Sentiment and sweetness?

2.The Italian locations, the Vatican - and the reproduction of Vatican offices, chapels? The musical score? The newsreel and stock footage of St Peter's Square?

3.The background of the television series The Young Ones, the tone, reality/farce? Sweetness? The blend of these ingredients - and the "moral" tone?

4.Robbie Coltrane's portrait of Dave: at the monastery, outside the monastery with the orphans, his relationship with the children, with the little boy, with the Mother Superior and her strictness? His awkwardness, the playing of the guitar and singing "Speedy Gonzales" with the children? The superior's reaction, ousting him? The sudden reverencing by everyone, by the monks, his return to the monastery, the abbot - angry, his analysis of the situation? The confreres? The farewell as he went to the Vatican? His being simpatico?

5.The Pope dying in the Vatican, the cardinal playing cards, the monsignor and his impatience for the Pope to die? The cardinals, the impact of the death and its announcement? The reproduction of the Vatican rituals? The conclave, the television commentators in St Peter's Square, the people? The satire on the cardinals and their manner, 25 days of conclave, the factions, the growing desperation, the cardinal in the chair? The black smoke? Disappointment?

6.Carellie and the gangster type, gunrunning? His using of Cardinal Rocco? The monsignor? His having the priest ready to stand by as elected Pope? Rocco's speech to the cardinals to persuade them to elect his candidate? The acclaim? The mishap with the deaf priest and the wrong name? Rocco dominating the monsignor, searching for the name in the computer? The result, Rocco and the monsignor handling the situation, Dave's arrival, the protocol, the rituals?

7.Dave and his personality, the simple priest, the monastery? The farewell, the ride with the police, his being knocked out in St Peter's Square, coming to, being hungry, the showing of the rooms, the coronation, the crowds, their expressions of loyalty and his being hungry? The press conferences and his being cut off on controversial issues? His meeting with Bish and becoming friendly with him? The papal routines, the Popemobile and the assassination attempt? His wanting to go home? The question of money, the letters and the pleas for money for orphanages? His changing his mind, the signing of the cheques for Cardinal Rocco? His examining all the books, going to the bank and closing it down? His standover tactics with the security guard and the officials? His going with Bish and overhearing Rocco ridiculing him with the gunrunner? His firing Rocco? His treatment in a kindly way - the victim wanting money from the bank and his giving it to him?

8.Carellie, his reaction to the election mistake? The gunrunning, the Latin-American? tyrants? Rocco and his being ousted, his decision to spy on the Pope with the monsignor? Eavesdropping and hearing the news about Dave and his son? Using the media, making up fake interviews? The effect on Dave, his being ousted? His return to the Vatican, the new conclave and the election of Albini, his wanting to thwart the plans of Carellie?

9.Luccia Carellie and her relationship with her father, seeming exemplary, avoiding her birthday party, going to Joe Don Dante, the sexual relationship, the concert? The return home and the party, Carellie ordering the assassination of the singer? The two hired assassins, their references - and the photos of their victims? Their awkwardness, comedy routines? Setting up the explosion - killing the daughter? And Joe surviving? Their excusing themselves to Carellie - and bringing the pies, allegedly with the hearts of the assassins?

10.Joe's mother coming to the hospital, his pleading to tell him the story of his father before he died? Her care for him, telling the story? His joy at having the Pope as father? Disguised as a nun, going to the papal apartments, going into the shower, Dave and his shock discovering what had happened? The story of their relationship, the mechanic, her being pregnant, going to Paris and not telling him? Dave's reaction - and the cardinal listening in? The disguise and the visit to the hospital, the reconciliation with his son, his son's death? Hearing that Carellie was behind the assassination? The papers, his reaction to such news, his leaving the Vatican?

11.Dave being ousted, Rocco returning and assuming all his privileges? A drink in the bar and his being thrown out? Busking in the streets, meeting the orphan, their collecting money together? Meeting Joe's mother again and her scorning them? Her taking pity, reacting against the newspaper stories, believing Dave, cooking the meal - and their sleeping? Dave's decision to thwart Carellie's plans? Going into the Vatican, the encounter with Rocco, Rocco shot, the confession and the absolution - despite Rocco's mobile phone? The Swiss Guard, getting into the costume, exposing Albini, exposing Carellie? The confrontation with Carellie, his going berserk, the cardinals in amazement, his shooting the roof of the Sistine Chapel - and Carellie crushed by the image of God falling on him?

12.Rocco, the American cardinal, wheeler-dealing, money and banking, the mistress? The complete scandal? The monsignor and his prim and proper manner, in collusion with Rocco? Handling the Vatican situation, spying on the Pope?

13.The exaggeration of the plot with Carellie disguising himself to become Pope and so get control of the Vatican banks!

14.The background of Morris West stories like The Shoes of the Fisherman, Salamander with Vatican politics, corruption?

15.The happy ending, Dave, getting married, Bish doing the wedding ceremony? With the orphans? The nun who had smiled in attendance on him in the Vatican - the first female Pope?

16.The response of audiences - to the serious issues about the church and corruption, to the humane issues? To the parody and spoof.