PARIS JE T'AIME

France, 2006, 120 minutes, Colour.
Directed by Basil Polydades, Gurinda Chada, Gus Van Sant, Joel and Ethan Coen, Walter Salles and Daniela Thomas, Isobel Coixet, Christopher Doyle, Nobuhiro Suwa, Sylvain Chomet, Alfonso Cuaron, Olivier Assayas, Oliver Schmitz, Richard La Gravanese, Vincenzo Natale, Wes Craven, Frederic Aubertin and Gerard Depardieu, Alexander Payne.

Portmanteau films are not to everyone’s taste. No sooner have you become involved in one story, you have to pass on to the next. On the other hand, if you like cinema anecdotes, the collection in Paris Je T’ Aime has plenty to offer. 18 stories in fact. And all about Paris. And mostly about love. In different forms.

Naturally, everyone will have their favourite story as well as their favourite director. And it is fascinating to see how directors of feature films confine themselves to five minutes of storytelling. Except for one, they have written their own scripts (and that is the excellently wry Gerard Depardieu episode which was written by its star, Gena Rowlands).

My hunch is that most people will vote the Coen Brothers story the best and/or the most entertaining. It sparkles with wit about the dark and ironic side of Paris as Steve Buscemi as a befuddled tourist at the Tuilleries Metro station falls foul of a couple kissing on the platform – and a boy with a pea-shooter.

There are some delightful moments in a story by Gurinda Chada where a young man comes to the assistance of a Muslim girl; in Nobuhiro Suwa’s story where Juliet Binoche grieves her dead son and imagines him riding off with a cowboy, Willem Dafoe; in a story by Walter Salles where a Hispanic maid (Catalina Sandina Moreno), who has to put her own baby into care, has to tend her wealthy employer’s baby.

Along the way there is a very amusing story of a romance between two mime artists who meet in jail. Nick Nolte, whom we assume is having an affair with a young girl, has to baby-sit for his daughter. Elijah Wood is caught up in a Parisian vampire story. Tom Tykwer directs Natalie Portman as an aspiring actress who is helped and falls in love with a blind man. Wes Craven’s story is set in Pere Lachaise cemetery where Emily Mortimer visits Oscar Wilde’s tomb, is upset by her humourless fiance, Rufus Sewell – who is then inspired by an apparition of Wilde and wins Emily back. Gus Van Sant has a rather blatant gay flirtatious story which is earthed by an amusing twist. Fanny Ardant and Bob Hoskins get up to some shenanigans in Pigalle.

There are some delightful moments in a story by Gurinda Chada where a young man comes to the assistance of a Muslim girl; in Nobuhiro Suwa’s story where Juliet Binoche grieves her dead son and imagines him riding off with a cowboy, Willem Dafoe; in a story by Walter Salles where a Hispanic maid (Catalina Sandina Moreno), who has to put her own baby into care, has to tend her wealthy employer’s baby. A man with a poor self-image helps a woman who collapses on the street and gives him a new lease of life.

The last story, directed by Alexander Payne, brings everything to a sweet but humorous ending as a middle-aged lady from Colorado (Margo Martindale) recounts her trip to Paris in a most atrociously accented French, but falls in love with Paris and feels that Paris has fallen in love with her.

Film buffs will relish seeing how the directors transfer their style and vision to anecdotes. Stargazers will generally be delighted. This is not a major work. It is more or less a tableful of soufflés. Enjoy them all – or pick and choose.

1. The appeal of a portmanteau film? Picking and choosing amongst the items?

2. The range of directors, the directors being their own writers – except for Gena Rowlands. The differing styles? The anecdotes – and the short time span, five minutes?

3. The qualities of film-making in a five-minute story: narrative, character, performance, visual style, editing, dialogue, action, climax and mood?

4. The differing visual styles of each of the directors? Particular styles like that of the Coens, of Vincenzo Natali for the horror story?

5. The beauty of Paris, the postcard vistas, Paris night and day? The musical score?

6. The final glimpses, and the interconnection of various characters? The interconnectedness of love and life?

6. The themes of love – and the varieties of love?

MONTMARTRE
Florence Muller, Bruno Podalydes,
Directed by Bruno Podalydes

The man, his anxiety, the car, trying to park, the streets and the traffic, his self-image and his talking to himself, the passers-by, the woman not in the mirror, her collapse, his helping, putting her in the car, her touching him, turning off the music, the bond? Her character? His future?

QUAIS DE SEINE.
Lila Bechti, Cyril Descours.
Directed by Gurinder Chadha.

The youngsters sitting and watching the girls, the crass talk? Francois not joining in? The young girl, her listening? Her going away, falling, the boys laughing? Francois and his helping her? Her veil coming off, her hair, his trying to put it back on, taking the photo on his mobile phone? The discussion about beauty, beauty and identity? Her comment on the crassness of the boys’ remarks? Going to the mosque, his decision to follow, waiting, their coming out, her grandfather, the introduction, the thanks, the invitation to come along?

LE MARAIS
Marianne Faithfull, Elias Mc Connell, Gaspard Ulliel.
Directed by Gus Van Sant.

The young male at the factory, the visitors arriving, the discussion about the job, the other young man taking off his jacket, the talk, the other man listening, sitting at the table? The self-revelation, giving the phone number? The old lady and the boy leaving? The other man confiding that he had not understood anything? The phone number and his running after the boy? The blatant flirting love story?

TUILERIES
Steve Buscemi, Julie Bataille, Axel Kiener.
Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen.

The reputation of the Coens, the action confined to the railway station, the tourist and his close-up looking down the tunnel, Steve Buscemi and his performance, comic? The guide books, the humour, the vulgar translations of phrases? The little boy and his grandmother and his firing the peashooter? The couple embracing on the other side, the warning about eye contact, the girl looking at him, the train coming after they had a fight, the girl coming to his side, the peashooter still attacking, the young man coming to the platform, bashing the tourist? The people watching, the final peashooter shot? The dark side of romantic Paris?

LOIN DU SIXTEEN
Catalina Sandino Moreno.
Directed by Walter Salles and Daniela Thomas.

The Hispanic girl, with her baby, rushing in the traffic to work, putting the baby in care, singing to it? Arriving late to work, having to look after the employer’s baby, spending more time singing to that baby than to her own? The social comment about migrants, wealth, service? The effect on family life?

PORT DU CHOISY
Li Xin, Barbet Schroeder.
Directed by Christopher Doyle.

M’sieur Henny, his arrival, traveller for women’s goods? The Asian atmosphere? His asking people the way to the shop? The surreal aspect of the Asian women, the breaking glass, dragging him in, the models? His failure, waiting in the café, his return? The women and the images of western stars, makeup and hairstyles? His transforming them? The musical number?

BASTILLE
Miranda Richardson, Sergio Castellito, Leonor Watling.
Directed by Isobel Coixet.

The man and his mid-life crisis, in the restaurant, his talking to himself, the planning to reveal to his wife that he was leaving her for his mistress? The flashbacks and the eighteen months with the flight attendant? His comment about his wife’s red coat, her arrival, his comments about how irritating she was, not getting dessert and eating his? The plan – but her bursting into tears, the diagnosis from the doctor, the leukaemia, fatal? His changing his attitude? His mistress fainting at the news? His tenderness and care looking after his wife, in love with her again? The years passing, his discovering another woman wearing a red coat?

PLACE DE VICTOIRES
Juliet Binoche, Willem Dafoe, Hyppolyte Girardot.
Directed by Nobu Hiro Suwa.

The mother, her grief at the death of her son, with her daughter and the consolation, the anxiety of her husband? Her little boy liking cowboys? The apparition, the cowboy on the horse? Her son appearing, the cowboy taking him off? Her being consoled? Her past comment about suffering and God’s mercilessness? Her belief in God – and this moment of grace?

TOUR EIFFEL
Yolande Moreau, Paul Putner.
Directed by Sylvain Chomet.

The mimic story, the little boy and his enormous satchel, big glasses, telling the story of his parents meeting in prison? The mime, his skills, sadness and joy, imitating people, his transportation around the city? The disturbance, the arrest? Meeting the mime in the cell? Falling in love? The fellow prisoner and his wanting to get out of the cell? The happy ending with the boy?

PARC MONCEAU
Nick Nolte, Ludivine Sagnier.
Directed by Alfonso Cuaron.

Nick Nolte and his walking with the young woman, at night, down the street, the tone of their talk, audience assuming they were having an affair, the younger woman with the older man, the ambiguity of the language, Gaspar as the other man, controlling the young woman’s life? Their arguing about his absences in America, her wanting him to speak French? Their meeting the friend, his smoking the cigarettes – and the irony that they were going to the movies and he had to babysit his grandchild?

QUARTIER DES ENFANTS ROUGES
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Lionel Dray.
Directed by Olivier Assayas.

The American in Paris, actress, her contact, the man on the bike, Ken and Liz, the drugs, the sales, on the film set, his wanting to visit, her being in makeup, time – and her getting more drugs, the new contact?

PLACE DES FETES
Aissa Maiga, Seydou Boro.
Directed by Oliver Schmitz.

The man in the street, the African, his being wounded and dying, the African nurse coming to his aid, his memories, the car park, her parking the car, the boss wanting to give him the sack, his being ousted from where he lived, in the street, happy, the violent attack, his being stabbed, the nurse trying to get the coffees, the sadness of his death – and the coffees arriving?

PIGALLE
Fanny Ardent, Bob Hoskins.
Directed by Richard la Gravenese.

Bob, in Pigalle, going to the brothel, the madam and her comments, the prostitute and the charges, the question about watching? The irony of the relationship between Bob and the woman? Talking about their past, the record that they fell in love with? That they were married, back out on the street, the argument, memories of how happy their marriage was, his providing the musicians on the street, their going into their house – and the advertisement that they were actors – and that these were the last days of their performance?

CARTIER DE LA MADELINE
Elijah Wood, Olga Kurylenko.
Directed by Vincenzo Natali.

The young man, the horror style of the film, the appearance of the vampire, the victims, his trying to rescue the victim, her attacking him, his not being bitten, he biting her, the kiss, the mutual fangs? The artificial style (like Sin City with the redness of the blood)?

PERE-LACHAISE
Emily Mortimer, Rufus Sewell.
Directed by Wes Craven.

Pere Lachaise cemetery, she eager to see the tombs, he serious and practical, the pre-planned honeymoon? The lack of humour, her criticism, the clash? Oscar Wilde’s grave, her delight? Her admiration for Oscar Wilde? The young man hitting his head, Oscar Wilde appearing on the opposite grave, his inspiration? The man quoting the girl’s favourite quotations? Laughing, going to the hotel, the happy ending?

FAUBOURG SAINT-DENIS
Natalie Portman, Melchior Beslon.
Directed by Tom Tykwer.

The young blind man, typing, the phone call, the words of ‘Breaking Up’, his memories, coming across the actress rehearsing her lines and his not realising it, her kindly response, his getting her to the audition on time, the seasons passing, their sharing the spring and the summer, the autumn? The bonds between the two? The phone call and her wanting to break off the relationship, the irony that she was rehearsing more lines and wanting his comment?

QUARTIER LATIN
Gena Rowlands, Ben Gazzara, Gerard Depardieu.
Directed by Frederic Auburtin and Gerard Depardieu.

The bar, the woman arriving, meeting her former husband, going in for drinks, the waiter suggesting the drink? The discussions about the divorce, memories of the marriage, their being good grandparents? His asking her about her relationship to the cyclist, her responses? He with Vicki, and her being under thirty? The revelation that she was pregnant? His wanting to have an elaborate marriage? His speaking about adoption – and offering to adopt the cyclist? Her wry remarks about her adopting Vicki? The criticisms about her caustic mouth, his infidelities? Her decision to leave?

FOURTEENTH ARRONDISSEMENT
Margo Martindale.
Directed by Alexander Payne.

Carol, the middle-aged woman from Colorado? Her jetlag, in the hotel, doing the tourist things, the galleries, asking about restaurants, sitting alone in the restaurant, sitting alone in the park – and her looking at people, loving Paris, feeling that it loved her back? The amusement in the dialogue all being in French – and her monologue with the atrocious American accent?