Some New Year Cheer

This list of humour was sent by Chris Chaplin from the General House in Rome (and his email address refers to Consigliere Generale Terzo – which those of us who know The Godfather would associate with advisers to the Mafia heads!).

Italy is in heavy lockdown and Chris notes that a number of clergy and religious have contracted covid-19.

So, from a hard situation, here are some smiles:

You come from dust and to dust you will return. That's why you shouldn't dust. It could be someone you know.

When one door closes and another door opens, you're probably in prison.

If you answer your phone  with "Hello. You're on the air", most telemarketers will quickly hang up.

Or...please hold on while I get something to record this with.

Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere. It makes your heart race and changes you forever. We call these people cops.

Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria of a Mental Hospital.

It's not the ups and downs that make life difficult; it's the jerks. (Charlie Chaplin)

They say marriages are made in Heaven. Then again, so is lightning and thunder.

Maybe the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of Charades..

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. (Yogi Berra)

This "killing them with kindness" is taking way longer than I expected.

I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.

One minute you're young and fun. And the next you're turning down the stereo in your car so you can see better.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. (Will Rogers)

Never miss a good chance to shut up.  (Will Rogers - again)

And finally -  Can we all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to the question "Where do you see yourself 5 years from now".