Reflections on my Marriage Encounter Experience. Terry Herbert MSC.
My first experience of Marriage Encounter was in the mid 1970’s when teaching at Chevalier College, Bowral. A married couple also teaching there, invited me to my first Weekend in December 1975 - though exhausted at the end of the school year, that Weekend was a defining, life-changing experience. My dialogue partner was team priest Fr Ron Nissan sm. We “clicked” perfectly; I recently re-connected with him, in Sydney.
Moving to our other college at Hamilton, Western Victoria, in 1978, I soon met wonderful M/E couples and their families, when on Weekend Mass Supply. A couple of those relationships continue, today.
To our Parish at Henley Beach, Adelaide, 1987/88 and more wonderful, new M/E friendships. Fr John Rate msc, was PP there, and you know his role on WWME.
Back to Chevalier College 1989 - 2016, was am M/E drought! M/E had lapsed, on the Southern Highlands, but I knew and kept contact with an original Team Couple at Kiama.
Fr Doug Smith, msc (of legendary M/E memory) and myself, were school classmates at Chevalier College in the 1950’s…. he returned to God in June 2018; meeting many M/E couples at his funeral at Kensington, was the catalyst. I did another Weekend in August, and a deeper Weekend in Adelaide 2019 - but (wisely) discerned that “Team for TH” wasn’t appropriate. Rather, I’m very happily a support priest for M/E Eastern Region.
What influence has M/E had on my pastoral ministry over 46 years of my 50 as a priest, and how has the spirit enriched my preparation for over 400 marriages in that time?
I’ve realised that the M/E Spirit has enriched my (our) own MSC Spirituality of the Heart of Jesus … not as something once learnt, but now, as almost constant awareness ….
# I have come to appreciate that every person is sacred … reflecting God’s Spirit … that we are all able to “hear” the same words of the Father that Jesus heard: “you are my own dear son (daughter); I love you dearly; my favour rests on you.”
# “to love is a conscious decision” we make - daily, in fact constantly; that our feelings are neutral … it’s how we deal with them that’s important …. always towards consciously desiring and actually giving the best, most-loving response to all people.
# in hindsight, I so gratefully realise that my own dear parents, who’d never heard of M/E, were actually living its’ spirit …. daily; their constant self-sacrificing love towards each other and we three, with total respect, consideration, and a capacity to suffer crosses whenever they came, has had an enduring, indelible effect on myself.
As Paul the writer expressed (in 2 Cor. 4:7) - “We now have this light shining in our hearts;
but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power (to love) is from God, not from ourselves.”
Let’s continue to gratefully rejoice in our gift … and let our lights shine!
Fr Terence Herbert msc - a support priest for Marriage Encounter, Eastern region
