THE MAIDEN HEIST
US, 2009, 90 minutes, Colour.
Christopher Walken, Morgan Freeman, William H Macy, Marcia Gaye Harden, Breckin Meyer.
Directed by Pete Hewitt.
It is the first heist, the maiden heist by three old security guards at an art gallery. But, the initial target of the heist is a portrait of The Lonely Maiden.
This is a film for something of a chuckle rather than a laugh aloud comedy. And it would remind audiences who are familiar with the Night at the Museum films.
At the centre is Roger, Christopher Walken, standing and admiring The Lonely Maiden for hours on end over many years. He goes home to his wife, he hairdresser played by Marcia Gaye Harden. When Roger learns that the exhibits are being transferred to Denmark, he becomes anxious because The Lonely Maiden will be thousands of miles away.
He communicates this to Charles, Morgan Freeman, who also has his own favourite painting – with the advantage that he is a painter himself and can forge his favourite. He is less successful in forging The Lonely Maiden and, after a plan is made to steal the exhibits that they like, Roger has to commission a street painter at great cost to forge his favourite.
Also in the act is George, William H Macy, allegedly a veteran of the invasion of Grenada, and then from Vietnam. He treats everything like a military exercise with military discipline – only to fail extremely with the actual robbery, admiring the statue of the warrior, naked, like the warrior, almost getting caught but finishing up in the wrong van as they make their escape.
Lots of flurry, lots of anxiety, the treasured artworks being recovered and a happy ending, especially when Roger, having taken his wife to Florida for a vacation as promised, realises that she resembles the painting.
1. A variation on the Museum robbery genre? A gathering of older men?
2. The city, homes and apartments? The Museum, the various sections, art gallery, statuary? Behind-the-scenes, offices, the packing and dispatch? The streets? The vans? Chases? The touch of Florida? The musical score?
3. The title, the play on words, the first heist, the stealing of the picture of the lonely maiden?
4. Roger, seen in contemplation of the picture, there for many years? His imagining the robbery, his heroism, the shooting of the robbers? His life at home, Rose and her job, chatting, the money in the cookie jar? Her wanting a holiday? His routines and being used to them? The news of the transfer, his criticising of the executive and his being put down? His regrets?
5. Charles, his work in the gallery, his apartment, the camp touches? His cats? His manner? His contemplating the painting?
6. George, his contemplating the statue? His imagining himself and posing? His diminutive stature and his ambitions to be male tough? His stories about the invasion of Grenada, his military background, language, slipping to talk about Vietnam?
7. Charles and his idea, to steal the paintings and the statue? The meeting with George? The secrecy? The ideas? The contemplation of the paintings and the motivations?
8. The plan, things going wrong with the plan? The modelling of the Museum – and the animation with the pegs to illustrate what could go wrong?
9. Their application for extra duty? Rose and her wanting the vacation? Upset with Roger after he took the money for the forgery? His promises? Her going to the manager about the vacation?
10. The codes, military style? Charles and his paintings, failing with the Lonely Girl? Succeeding with his own? George and the building of the alternate statue? Going to the forger, his charge? Taking the works of art to the Museum?
11. The robbery, the packing, labelling, the substitution of the art? George and his success? His hiding in the case? The walkie-talkie contact? Anxiety with the guard walking through the building early?
12. The vans, the success, the paintings in the van with Roger and Charles? The discovery that George was in the other van, his posing naked with the statue, without his clothes in the van?
13. Roger, the plan, to go to Florida, the timetable, the van, Rosa and her chatter, the crisis, her expecting a surprise? George naked? Roger going into the room with the cases, Rose coming in shouting, everything fixed up?
14. The holiday in Florida, Roger and his scuba diving, discovering Rose on the sand in the pose of this picture? His love for her?
15. A film for chuckles and an appreciation of the acting skills of the three older men?
