THE PIRATES! BAND OF MISFITS

UK, 2012, 88 minutes, Colour.
Voices of: Hugh Grant, Martin Freeman, David Tennant, Imelda Staunton, Brendan Gleeson, Jeremy Piven, Brian Blessed, Lenny Henry, Salma Hayek, Peter Lord.
Directed by Peter Lord.

This is a bit of a gulity pleasure for adults, but so are most of the films from Bristol’s Aardman Studios, makers of those delightful and funny animation films, Creature Comforts and the Wallace and Grommit shorts and The Curse of the Were Rabbit. They also made Chicken Run some years ago.

Here they are with a daffy pirate story which is so full of anachronisms, that littlies might not even notice, that it makes for an imagination bending adventure. It is 1837 and Queen Victoria has just ascended the throne – and declared her hatred of pirates. In the meantime, over in Blood Island, the often charmingly incompetent Captain Pirate, his loyal Number Two and his small but motley crew are encouraging him to enter the competition again for Pirate of the Year. He has been part of it for twenty years, has never won, and is the butt of the more successful, treasure laden pirates.

Off they go to prove themselves but encounter a ghost ship, kids on a geography excursion, naturists – no one with any gold. Another failure with booty is The Beagle with a small-sized Charles Darwin who saves himself from walking the plank – well, no, he is pushed off but rescued – when he realises that Captain Pirate’s parrot is actually a dodo, not extinct. Between many jigs and many reels, off they go to London for the Royal Society competition, which the dodo wins. Darwin, kept out of the celebrations, connives with Queen Victoria who desperately wants the dodo, not for her pet zoo, as she claims, but for the revelation of something much more dastardly. Queen Victoria is the villain of the film.

The final adventure (after the Pirate King strips Captain Pirate of being Pirate of the Year at a kind of 19th century Oscar ceremony) involves Pirate Captain, Darwin, his Manzee (who communicates by holding up cards) and the crew coming to the rescue in a final combat with Victoria.
There are plenty of aside jokes if you are attentive, lots of anachronisms as mentioned and playing around with dates, and a gallery of amusing ads and signs throughout which are all shown during the final credits. The line I liked was, ‘Nothing is impossible until you really think about it!’.

The voices are excellent, Hugh Grant at his Hugh Grantish best as Captain Pirate. Martin Freeman is the loyal Number Two. David Tennant is Darwin. Imelda Staunton lets rip as Queen Victoria.

The animation is detailed and lively (and there is a 3D release of the film). There is enough for younger audiences to enjoy and the jokes and references will amuse adults.

Fortunately, we are told at the end that the characters do not relate to any real persons – any reference is purely coincidental. But, if you feel the earth rumble beneath your feet, it is not an earthquake, not a sign of tsunami. It is Queen Victoria turning, no, rapidly revolving, in her grave!

1. The popularity of Aardman Animation, the British style, stories, characters, humour?

2. The visual style, the moulding of the characters, in action? The sets, the ship, the inn, the palace, the Royal Society, the gourmet ship, the balloon? The staging of the action sequences?

3. The songs, the shanties, the modern songs, the musical score?

4. The British humour, the British Empire, the Victorian era, its dark side? The conventions about pirates, booty and cutlasses, slicing people through, the pirates’ club and the awards? The pirate captain as the underdog, his crew, the irony of trying to plunder ghost ships, school excursions, naturists? The dodo? Darwin, walking the plank, the role of science, the parody of the Oscars, the villains? Greed, gluttony? True selves? The verbal humour, the jokes, the anachronisms, the advertisements, the street signs – all gathered together in the final credits?

5. The pirate plot, the old boat, the crew, Ham Night? The competition for Pirate of the Year? The pirate captain’s annual humiliation for twenty years? The captain and his personality, Hugh Grant’s voice, his vanity, his being a loser, his love for the dodo, the loyalty of Number Two? The other members of the crew? The cross-dresser? Entry into the competition, his being laughed at? The attacks on the various ships – futile? Encountering the Beagle, the consequences? Darwin and the plank, his plea about the dodo? The captain’s ambitions, going to London, his disguise – and the fires burning off the disguises? His winning the award? His treatment of Darwin, the Manzee? The queen and her pardoning him? Her wanting the dodo, showing him the vast treasure, giving him the treasure, his surrendering the dodo? His going to the pirates’ club, the award, his being stripped of his award? Going to London to sell babywear? The truth, going with Darwin on the balloon, the gluttony ship, the confrontation and fights? Confronting Victoria? The loyalty of his crew and coming in support?

6. Number Two, nice, loyal, a conscience for the pirate captain, leader of the crew?

7. The range of other pirates, the voices and the variety of nationalities, stars in the cast? The pirate king and his boisterousness? The inn, the award?

8. Darwin, small man, the jokes about origins, the Royal Society, seeing the dodo, persuading the pirate captain to go back to London? His wanting a woman to love him? His betrayal, the pirate captain and his treatment? The Manzee and his cards? Darwin and his changing heart, helping the captain, on the balloon, the fights? His eventually going to the Galapagos Islands – with the touch of the tourist attraction?

9. Queen Victoria, 1837, ascending the throne, her being alone, her vendettas against pirates? Her wanting the dodo, the pardoning of the pirate captain, showing him the treasure, the truth about her wanting to join the other heads of state and eat the dodo? The scenes of the banquet, the menu list, the chef? The rescue of the dodo?

10. The British Empire, the opening, the sea chiefs, the maps? Authorities and their attitudes towards the pirates? Familiar pirate stories – and the mocking of empire and pirate stories?

11. The basic plot and humour for younger audiences, the touches of slapstick? The ironic humour for older audiences?