‘...if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world.’

Garrison Keillor, Lake Wobegon Days

‘Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.’

Garrison Keillor

‘One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.’

Garrison Keillor

‘God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.’

Garrison Keillor Happy to Be Here

‘When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.’

Garrison Keillor Homegrown Democrat: A Few Plain Thoughts from the Heart of America

‘My God, rich people have the time to praise You if they want to, but the poor people are so busy, accept their work as praise because, my God, they don’t have time for everything.’

Garrison Keillor Lake Wobegon Days